Tuesday 16 October 2018

The Negativity Roots To Positivity


Hi everybody,

This was not the initial intended next post of my blog. I had a Eureka moment yesterday. It’s been bothering me ever since – so it clearly needs to come out as part of a priority post list I am trying to get through.

In my last post, I discussed how frightened I can be when it comes to disclosing my disability.

Yes, I am not ashamed of my disability. You shouldn’t be either. Discussing my disability has now become second nature. There’s just one major problem for me. 

I’ve been surrounded by positive language in my household. That changes when I leave my house. For the first 15 years of my education, where it is spent elsewhere of my home, it exposes me to negative language, which for a young girl, I wasn’t ready for. Turning 18 poses different challenges. I was lucky that things got better.

The truth is that I’ve become so accustomed to negative language. The saddest thing is that even if I discuss something with someone I love, trust and respect, I’m always ready for negative response. I am always trying to indirectly say “This is what I need, I hope it isn’t too much to ask”, even when I know that it isn’t, and that they will most likely say yes. 

I was surrounded by words like “troublemaker“, “difficult“ and “demanding”, and I even sometimes labelled myself a “nuisance“ for speaking up. Since I was three years old.

I put walls up. I still play 20 different situations in my head before I think about speaking to somebody on the phone, or in an email.

It’s stressful. 
It’s a waste of my time.
It’s psychologically damaging.
It’s a constant battle within yourself before you actually deal with the situation itself.

It’s constantly thinking about the can’t’s, shouldn’t’s and won’t’s. Of course, that’s far from what is needed. It’s unsupportive. It’s “all in your head“ until you say what you want to say.


Most importantly, it requires courage. When you’re regularly tired, it’s hard to have courage.

I promise you that courage is important. Always have it. Do what is best for you. And yes, of course, negativity slows down the whole process. Nothing is a walk in the park.

It’s a painful fight, but it has made me a stronger person every day.

People will say no. But don’t stop fighting. If it’s something you really care about, like my purpose for this campaign - keep going.

Keep on speaking up. You deserve what you need to survive - equipment. Personal care. The Right Words for the Right Mind. 

Use the root of negative language for Positivity to give you Possibilities, because it will surely lead you to Prosperity!

Raisa X

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity

Saturday 6 October 2018

My Experience: Directly Addressing and Accepting Cerebral Palsy


It's #WorldCerebralPalsyDay! and a fitting day for my next post!


So. I was born with Cerebral Palsy. In short: IT’S HARD. Even now.

For me, walking short distances can become easily exhausting. Anything is, actually. Physically writing, sitting down without back support, to opening a packet of crisps because of finger cramps.

There’s also an underlying constant twitch that feels almost like pins and needles from my shoulders down, and keeping my brain occupied (conversations, music, work I definitely want to do) makes it stay in the distance. It’s never fully ‘gone’. Thankfully, I don’t feel it when I sleep. Please don’t wake me up, unless it’s absolutely necessary!

Human interaction is when things get even messier than the above description. It's harder to be grateful for what you are capable of doing, if you're bombarded with "can'ts, shouldn'ts and won'ts".

Accepting a disability, and therefore knowing that you’re ‘different’ by social standards is a mammoth ask for a disabled person. Remembering that you are allowed to ask for adjustments to make your life easier without feeling embarrassed (or making things ‘difficult’ for that said person) is another obstacle to constantly overcome.

Seen or unseen - to address the disability itself (and when you decide to tell someone) poses its individual challenges. Whether it’s confidently or hesitantly, you’ll never know what the reaction will be, which can be daunting:

“No way!“
“That wheelchair is yours?“
“I had no idea!“
“Well. That explains a lot…“
*silent stare into space*
“You’re so positive about your disability!”

After all these years, even part of me is still extremely frightened. Not because of the declaration of disability, but how I’ll react to their reactions. Will I be able to keep myself together in one piece? Can I stop myself from bursting into tears? Stop myself from being an angry dragon? I don’t know. We’ll have to see on the day itself.

As a result, I have to constantly remind myself of this:

The truth is that your disability makes you who you are. It’s something at the core of your being. But that’s not all that you are. You could be a disabled singer who likes to snowboard. A manager who has three kids and is a painter. A mechanic who likes to cook. The teacher who likes to skydive. A blogger who likes to party!

YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE.

Everyone deserves a life that they can be content with and proud of.

But this also means that the disabled person needs to have the right people around them to ask THEM directly: “What do YOU want to do with your life now? And “What do we need to do to help you achieve that?“ “Society says you can’t, we’ll show them, together!“

It just eliminates the assumption that the disabled person does not know what they want. They do. It’s their body and mind. The key is communication.

So don’t be afraid to speak up. 

About what you want. 
What you need. 
What you love. 
What you loathe. 

Stand your ground.

Because at the end of the day, a disabled person is still human. We have feelings, hopes and dreams too. We just need that little bit more help to fulfil them. That positive support makes all the difference – I can assure you!

Until next time,

Raisa Xx

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity
#WorldCerebralPalsyDay