Mind Training and #RightWordsRightMind

Hi Everyone,

I went to a couple of courses in the past couple of weeks. The first was Student Mental Health and the second was Emotional Intelligence and Resilience training.

I wanted to do these a long time ago. As some of you may know, I am not only a Scope Role Model, but I am also a Volunteer English Tutor with Action Tutoring - and I am helping these students prepare for their GCSEs – yikes!

And I thought to myself – student mental health – I wish someone cared about mine during high school! Could I help? What could I help with? Do I know the red flags? Do I know the stats? I had no idea of the answer of these questions – I had some work to do!

The most important thing is that mental health is a spectrum for everyone, and is it okay to not be okay. The worst thing you can possibly do is bottle it all up and not tell anybody. 

To feel confident within yourself, express emotion, engage with the world around you, using your time wisely you and coping with the stresses of life are the key aspects to having great mental health. To feel all of these at the same time are the rare great moments in life.

The “stress bucket“ is very real! All your duties colliding at once can have a serious impact on your mental health – and the stigma of mental health and talking about it doesn’t really help anyone either.

The general age of people being affected by mental health is gradually lowering. That is really terrible, no matter what position you’re in – male, female, old, young, Rich or poor. Disabled or not.No one really talks about it and end up caged in their brains instead.

My Depression comes and goes. It generally flares up when I am unproductive, “unhelpful” or unable to do something due to illness that is not connected to my disability. Isolation and constantly being badgered down for my views too. Just like everyone else, when I am sick of fighting, depression creeps up on me.

The worst thing you can do you to yourself is deny you are feelings, And not to make them feel known. 

I’m not ashamed to say that I can get depressed. You shouldn’t either. It's okay to be sad.

I found this quote, and it makes so much sense:

Now, when it comes to emotional intelligence, I think I had the breakthrough when I was 14. I found myself analysing how I feel, why I feel the way I do, figuring out by myself how to deal with it and move forward whilst looking at the wider picture of the impact of actions for everyone else. 

Everything starts with a trigger, which manifests into thoughts,, emotions, physical sensations and behaviours. But you also have to understand what your emotions are in the first place. It can be a deadly cycle when we think negatively. As difficult as it sounds, we need to change our thoughts into positive ones, or at least less daunting ones. Negativity does us no good. You are the biggest critic of yourself, and we always end up hurting ourselves for no reason. 

Resilience comes from within you, and how you decide to cope with this situation – whether this be taking physical action, a conversation, or simply having the strength to do nothing. It’s not just about being “Tough“ It’s about learning from your experiences and doing what makes you happy without putting yourself in excess danger.

Disabled or not, you deserve to be happy.

We need to stop acting like mental health is no big deal. It’s essential to your well-being as a whole. Don’t blow it off as unimportant. You are damaging yourself.

Words of encouragement and support will help people into the right direction. Acknowledge emotion. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this far. You’ve got so much to do still.Nothing in life is a permanent state.

And that’s why mental health and emotional resilience is important for everyone. Keep on going!

Raisa Xx

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity
Twitter:@right_words

P.S.: If you need any help with your mental health:

Scope Role Models and #RightWordsRightMind

Hi everyone!

Happy New Year!

Long time no post! Sorry!

After a hectic festive period, holiday, bout of illness and birthday shopping preparation, it’s back to work for me!

The Scope For Change Program not only kickstarted my campaign, but it also feeds into my work in the Scope Role Models department! Bonus! 

I went in as a volunteer Role Model for 9 sessions over 2 days at the Central Foundation School for Girls in Bow on Monday and Tuesday this week. It was my first school, and I had an absolute blast! The head of Year 8 is an amazing woman, taking the whole thing so seriously, fully supportive , and asking me all the right, thoughtful questions. 

We spoke about how common disability is, and how important it is to be understanding of visible and invisible disabilities. And how not to talk to a disabled person. Like this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Xx1zBi4D2dc

I cringed EVERY SINGLE TIME I watched it. Please don’t do stuff like this. 

I got asked about my condition a lot, the importance of travel accommodations, disabled toilets, if anyone had been rude to me like the video above, (The answer is yes), and the impact of bullying(To which my response was “I just want to be treated like a human being with feelings“), amongst other things. 

2 particular questions stuck out for me though, for their originality. 

The first was a brave and unexpected question: how did I feel when I understood that I was a disabled person? I told her the truth: I was extremely frustrated with myself, looking at the left side of my body and commanding it to work properly. It took me a while to get my head around it. It took me a long time to understand, accept and respect my limitations. I don’t put myself through unnecessary hell any more.

The second was extremely relevant to this campaign: the overall concept indicating that disability could strike anyone - at any time. I discuss this with you now so you don’t learn the struggles of disability the hard way (acquiring one yourself out of the blue). Being nice and understanding and learning from my experiences makes all the difference. After all, we are people too!

Ask about our conditions curiously, Not rudely. Take us seriously. Consider our emotions.

If this doesn’t happen, there is a slim chance of #RightWordsRightMind for the disabled person. 

I am glad I am able to set the record straight for some people. I hope you can join me in this quest!

Until next time,

Raisa Xx

#RightWordsRightMind

#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity

Twitter: @right_words 

The Flu and #RightWordsRightMind

Hi guys! 

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged anything. Sorry. 

I’ve had a horrible cough for weeks that has slowed everything down for ages. Every time I coughed, it hurt to the base of my stomach. Until I was coughing up blood. 

I’ve never had anything like it before and it was one of the worst things I’ve ever had (but not THE WORST), my sleep was ok. Ish. 

I wasn’t able to use voice recognition on anything for 3 weeks. How was I going to do anything effectively? I couldn’t. So I waited it out. It was difficult. I thought I was a nuisance to everyone. 

But it affected the way I thought, too. About everything. It got to the point because it was so long where I was saying “God, make me better. Or just take me off the planet. Please. “ It happens every time.

Having a disability wasn’t even the major problem anymore. 

I felt like I had no one to turn to - not even a little moan or rant about my frustration. It was isolating. The few messages I did get made all the difference. 

The antibiotics worked, but took everything out of my system. It took a further 2 weeks to recover. 

The point is:

Talk about illness with people who matter to you. Talk about how it affects you and your mental health. It’s one of the best coping methods there possibly is. You can get through it!

Raisa X

@right_words

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity

I’m always ready for the answer to be NO – So I make sure the answer will be YES

Hi guys,

So, 10 days ago, my first ever opinion article got published! 

It was far from planned. All I had to do was respond to a Facebook call out – and I responded within 10 minutes.

I emailed – and the bulk of the email was explaining who I was, what I do, and why I would be great to write the article. They wanted a disabled person’s point of view on the impact of Briony’s disability not being mentioned during the Great British Bake Off. Of course, my conclusion was that it was both a big deal, and not a big deal.

Of course, I found myself selling myself, to make sure that they would say yes. I don’t know if I sounded confident, or arrogant and cocky. I hope it wasn’t the latter.

I didn’t know how many people would apply for the opportunity that so I got in there as fast as I could. A few hours later, the answer WAS, in fact,  yes. I was given less than four days to write the article. I don’t mind that, after all, I do use a voice activated device to type up my work – I’m used to it now. 

In the middle of this, I wasn’t very well. And by that point, I had been ill severely for about a week. It was nice to have something else to focus on, rather than focusing on the fact that I could taste blood every time I coughed. It’s fair to say that it wasn’t as bad as last year. I’ll explain later.

But it got me thinking. I sold myself well enough to write the article. But I was ready for rejection. I work so hard so I don’t get rejected.I build a case that I think they can’t argue with. Because society fills me with the can’t’s. But I’m always ready to retaliate. It’s exhausting, but most the time is worth it.

Disability Horizons has asked me to be a regular writer. How can I say no?! It’s something I’m good at.

I’m sick of people tell me what I can’t do. It doesn’t help my state of mind.

Find something that you love. Fight for it, because if you love it off enough, you will find how to make it work for you – and with or without a disability, do you want makes you happy – because you deserve to be.

Is the link The article I wrote. Have a read!

http://disabilityhorizons.com/2018/11/great-british-bake-off-were-you-pleased-that-brionys-disability-wasnt-mentioned/

Raisa X

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity

The Negativity Roots To Positivity

Hi everybody,

This was not the initial intended next post of my blog. I had a Eureka moment yesterday. It’s been bothering me ever since – so it clearly needs to come out as part of a priority post list I am trying to get through.

In my last post, I discussed how frightened I can be when it comes to disclosing my disability.

Yes, I am not ashamed of my disability. You shouldn’t be either. Discussing my disability has now become second nature. There’s just one major problem for me. 

I’ve been surrounded by positive language in my household. That changes when I leave my house. For the first 15 years of my education, where it is spent elsewhere of my home, it exposes me to negative language, which for a young girl, I wasn’t ready for. Turning 18 poses different challenges. I was lucky that things got better.

The truth is that I’ve become so accustomed to negative language. The saddest thing is that even if I discuss something with someone I love, trust and respect, I’m always ready for negative response. I am always trying to indirectly say “This is what I need, I hope it isn’t too much to ask”, even when I know that it isn’t, and that they will most likely say yes. 

I was surrounded by words like “troublemaker“, “difficult“ and “demanding”, and I even sometimes labelled myself a “nuisance“ for speaking up. Since I was three years old.

I put walls up. I still play 20 different situations in my head before I think about speaking to somebody on the phone, or in an email.

It’s stressful. 
It’s a waste of my time.
It’s psychologically damaging.
It’s a constant battle within yourself before you actually deal with the situation itself.

It’s constantly thinking about the can’t’s, shouldn’t’s and won’t’s. Of course, that’s far from what is needed. It’s unsupportive. It’s “all in your head“ until you say what you want to say.


Most importantly, it requires courage. When you’re regularly tired, it’s hard to have courage.

I promise you that courage is important. Always have it. Do what is best for you. And yes, of course, negativity slows down the whole process. Nothing is a walk in the park.

It’s a painful fight, but it has made me a stronger person every day.

People will say no. But don’t stop fighting. If it’s something you really care about, like my purpose for this campaign - keep going.

Keep on speaking up. You deserve what you need to survive - equipment. Personal care. The Right Words for the Right Mind. 

Use the root of negative language for Positivity to give you Possibilities, because it will surely lead you to Prosperity!

Raisa X

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity

My Experience: Directly Addressing and Accepting Cerebral Palsy

It's #WorldCerebralPalsyDay! and a fitting day for my next post!

So. I was born with Cerebral Palsy. In short: IT’S HARD. Even now.

For me, walking short distances can become easily exhausting. Anything is, actually. Physically writing, sitting down without back support, to opening a packet of crisps because of finger cramps.

There’s also an underlying constant twitch that feels almost like pins and needles from my shoulders down, and keeping my brain occupied (conversations, music, work I definitely want to do) makes it stay in the distance. It’s never fully ‘gone’. Thankfully, I don’t feel it when I sleep. Please don’t wake me up, unless it’s absolutely necessary!

Human interaction is when things get even messier than the above description. It's harder to be grateful for what you are capable of doing, if you're bombarded with "can'ts, shouldn'ts and won'ts".

Accepting a disability, and therefore knowing that you’re ‘different’ by social standards is a mammoth ask for a disabled person. Remembering that you are allowed to ask for adjustments to make your life easier without feeling embarrassed (or making things ‘difficult’ for that said person) is another obstacle to constantly overcome.

Seen or unseen - to address the disability itself (and when you decide to tell someone) poses its individual challenges. Whether it’s confidently or hesitantly, you’ll never know what the reaction will be, which can be daunting:

“No way!“
“That wheelchair is yours?“
“I had no idea!“
“Well. That explains a lot…“
*silent stare into space*
“You’re so positive about your disability!”

After all these years, even part of me is still extremely frightened. Not because of the declaration of disability, but how I’ll react to their reactions. Will I be able to keep myself together in one piece? Can I stop myself from bursting into tears? Stop myself from being an angry dragon? I don’t know. We’ll have to see on the day itself.

As a result, I have to constantly remind myself of this:

The truth is that your disability makes you who you are. It’s something at the core of your being. But that’s not all that you are. You could be a disabled singer who likes to snowboard. A manager who has three kids and is a painter. A mechanic who likes to cook. The teacher who likes to skydive. A blogger who likes to party!

YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE.

Everyone deserves a life that they can be content with and proud of.

But this also means that the disabled person needs to have the right people around them to ask THEM directly: “What do YOU want to do with your life now? And “What do we need to do to help you achieve that?“ “Society says you can’t, we’ll show them, together!“

It just eliminates the assumption that the disabled person does not know what they want. They do. It’s their body and mind. The key is communication.

So don’t be afraid to speak up. 

About what you want. 

What you need. 

What you love. 

What you loathe. 

Stand your ground.

Because at the end of the day, a disabled person is still human. We have feelings, hopes and dreams too. We just need that little bit more help to fulfil them. That positive support makes all the difference – I can assure you!

Until next time,

Raisa Xx

#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity

#WorldCerebralPalsyDay

Right Words. Right Mind. What Am I On About?!

Guys. Where do I begin?

Right Words. Right Mind. 

Positivity -> Possibilities -> Prosperity 

What do I mean by this?

The words we say matter. Every single one. Its implications mean everything in the long run.

Why?

Because others will remember both our words and actions – positively and negatively.

Words are not something that you can take back – in speech, or in writing. One mistake, and you could easily be ridiculed in the very least. And that is enough to affect you for the rest of your life. For better, or worse.

They say that there is a difference between what you were meant to say and saying what you mean. But, the bottom line is: Words carry their weight.


Disabled people, like everyone else, just want to be happy and get on with their lives. While there may be many physical barriers, the problem, and therefore the first issue to resolve is the lack of understanding around the negative language that is used on a regular basis around the disabled person in the first place.

If negative language is constantly used – this is something that can be easily internalised beyond repair for the disabled person. This in turn will mean that the disabled person will have issues with their self worth. Negative language SHOULD NOT be tolerated, even if it was a 'just a joke' - because it won't be in the long run.

If more positive language was used, this will encourage the disabled person to reach for their dreams – and not see their disability as an overwhelming, impossible obstacle.


And the best place to start with this is of course the disabled persons immediate circles. Family, friends, healthcare professionals - just people who the disabled person would want to have a major impact on their lives in a positive way. They need to be on the same page.

If they are on the same page from the very beginning, the disabled person should thrive.


And so, this is what my campaign is about – encouraging positive language to be used around disabled people so they feel motivated enough to go and chase their dreams if they haven't already due to the impact of negative language. It's for better mental health.


I am extremely lucky that I have experienced this concept myself, so I would love to extend it to others. Positivity is the key to this change. And this is the chain I would like to create:

Positivity -> Possibilities -> Prosperity 

Positivity: promoting regular encouraging language when talking to disabled people and talking about disabled people around the said person,

Possibilities: this should then motivate all parties to discuss the disabled person's dreams and aspirations - and find a way to achieve them.

Prosperity: the disabled person will be proud of their achievements, be happier in general, and be motivated to do more things to fully enjoy life - which is what everyone deserves anyway!


I, of course, have had my fair share of challenges. I will share with you my story, in the next post.


Watch this space!


And remember: Take the '-'t's' out of can't, shouldn't and won't - because YOU CAN, SHOULD, AND WILL!!!


Raisa X


#RightWordsRightMind
#PositivityPossibilitiesProsperity